Working on
your ÒissuesÓ, meaning your personal problems or difficulties, is one of the
most important things an actor can do for himself. ÒIssuesÓ can cause an actor to be self-defeating,
self-destructive and severely limited in their abilities.
As an
actor, you are an artist. Your
tool to create your art is ÒyouÓ.
Because of
this, I feel it is of the utmost importance to work on ÒyourselfÓ.
As artists we all have the potential to be ÒlimitlessÓ. The walls that constrict us are always self-created.
So, how do
we learn to release our negative thoughts, mental blocks, and emotional issues?
My journey
to self-realization, self-actualization, and self-awareness began when a cast
mate of mine suggested that I read a self-help book. He was able to see something in me that I was unable to
see. He saw that I had ÒissuesÓ
that might be influencing me in a negative way.
The problem
was that I
didnÕt see it. People go around
thinking that the way they see, feel and experience things is the same way
everyone else does. This is called
ÒprojectionÓ, which means you are projecting your way of thinking onto other
people. When you do this, you feel
that your experience of things is the only truthful way to see things. This makes even the most negative way
of thinking feel completely normal.
Thinking
that everyone else sees things exactly as you do couldnÕt be farther from the
truth. We are each highly affected
by our specific childhoods, upbringings and experiences. And when your specific journey has
caused a thought pattern that affects you adversely, that is called an ÒissueÓ.
Once I read
the book he had suggested, I was hooked!
I hadnÕt even realized that there was another way to look at life. It was thrilling to realize that there
was help out there for me.
Other
people have come before you and had the same problems you might be dealing
with. They spent a lifetime
figuring out how to grow and recover from their issues and then they wrote down
how they did it. Why not take
advantage of the hard won wisdom they are sharing with you?
If you
bought a fancy new camera, wouldnÕt you read the instruction book to find out
how it works, so you can get the most out of it?
Well, you are
at least as complicated and full of potential as a camera!
So why
donÕt more people want to learn how their mind works?
The answer
is ÒfearÓ.
People are fearful to confront their issues. Although it is our issues that most often hold us back, we are comfortable in our ways, and ÒchangeÓ is scary.
If we change, it means that we must become something new. And what that will be, we do not know. So staying the same offers the illusion of safety from the unknown.
Change can
also be sad. If, for instance, you
are no longer seeing things the negative way your family see things, you feel
as though you are alone, separated from your family. But YOU are the most important thing in your life. And having healthy attitudes towards
things is more important than the illusion of oneness with your family.
IÕd like to
share my favorite self-help book with you:
It is the
book I consider to be my bible.
IÕve read it so many times that I practically have it memorized.
ItÕs
called ÒYou CanÕt Afford the Luxury of a Negative ThoughtÓ, by Peter McWilliams,
and you can buy it online!
While
some self-help books can be long winded, dry, or just plain confusing, this
book is so easy to read, understand and apply. Each chapter is only about two pages long. You can read it in any order. A couple chapters a day is enough to
ruminate on. It is full of tools
to use that help you focus on the positive.
Other writers who have greatly influenced me
are:
Marianne Williamson (I used to listen to her
audiotapes everyday in the car!)
Louise L. Hay (ÒYou Can Heal Your LifeÓ)
Andrew Mathews (ÒBeing Happy!Ó)
Eckhart Tolle (ÒThe Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual EnlightenmentÓ)
Diana Kirschner (ÒOpening LoveÕs Door)
Once
you have decided to use the affirmations and to examine your issues, here are
some pitfalls you might encounter:
Once someone
realizes that they could benefit by taking control of their thoughts, they will
often say something like, ÒI need to set aside some time to work on this.Ó
That
is the wrong way to look at it.
Changing
thought patterns is a full time job.
You are engaged in it at all times. You must become aware of your negative thoughts and adjust
them in the moment.
After
all these years I still consciously place loving affirmations in my head all day
long. They are in response to the
negative self-talk that never goes away.
Everyone has negative thoughts, itÕs how you deal with them that decides
your life experience.
Years
ago, my brother ran into a rough patch in his life, so we had long discussions
about affirmations and the power of thought. He had taken many notes on what we discussed. After he worked with them for a time he
saw a GREAT improvement in his life!
Later,
after a few months had gone by, he found himself back in the dumps again.
I
asked him if he had been saying his affirmations, and he admitted that he
hadnÕt. He didnÕt even have them
memorized! I asked him where the
notes he had taken were, and he said that they were Òin a pileÓ in his room-
I
responded, ÒYou must apply - not pile up!Ó
None
of this does any good if youÕre not actively using it, in the moments you need
it, all the time!
Other people will make a terrific discovery
about an issue that is having a negative impact on their life. Then theyÕll say, ÒNow, I just have to
figure out how to get this discovery to affect a positive change in my
life.Ó
They feel that they have to figure out how to
apply this newfound insight or how to Òmake it work.Ó
That is the wrong way to look at it.
The change it will have on your life is
instant! Becoming aware of the
issue is all you need. YouÕve done
the hard part. Now just have FAITH
that it will affect change in your life.
The change can be instant if you believe it can be.
However, if you create a reality wherein you
need to Òfigure outÓ how to allow your discoveries to affect your life, then
that will remain your reality until you change your mind about it.
Most of us
go around thinking that not only are the thoughts in our head the truth, but
that everyone else has the same thoughts, and holds the same things to be true.
This is
exactly why people go to therapy.
It is to find the things that we take as ÒtruthÓ, that other people
donÕt.
As soon as
we realize that other people donÕt necessarily feel the same way, we are freed
from the constraints of that old belief.
For
instance, if someone grew up with parents who didnÕt get along, that person
might have a belief that marriage leads to unhappiness. That person may not even be aware that
he is believes this, it is so deep rooted in his subconscious.
For ten
years I read self-help books, but I still had some issues that were more
difficult to let go of. A friend
of mine had been urging me to see a therapist for years, but I was
resistant. I felt that I was a
happy person, and that seeing a therapist would mean that I have Òreal
problemsÓ. I felt ashamed to admit
I needed any outside help.
Seeing a therapist has improved my life hugely. I have since found that most everyone I know has seen one for a time.
There is a
general misunderstanding as to what a therapist does.
What they
donÕt do is lecture you on how to live your life.
A therapist
LISTENS.
By allowing
me a safe place to speak my mind each week, I was able to become keenly aware
of my own thoughts and feelings towards different aspects of my life. Once I became aware of my opinions on
things I was able to ask myself ÒIs this really true for me anymore? Is it really true for other people?Ó
Therapy
helps us to discover that the things we hold as ÒtruthsÓ may not be true for
other people. And, therefore, they
no longer need to be true for us.
I was able
to let go of old, useless, and harmful beliefs that I had been holding onto for
years.
Since
graduating college, I have not taken a single acting class. And yet, I feel as though my abilities
have grown tremendously. Part of
this is may be due to life experience, but I think a large part is the tremendous
amount of work I have put into releasing my negative thoughts, mental blocks,
and emotional issues.