I
used to look at auditions as a ÒcompetitionÓ. This seemed to be such an obvious truth to me. As actors, we were all ÒcompetingÓ to
get the job. And I wanted to
ÒwinÓ. In my mind, the other
actors auditioning were simply obstacles to my ÒwinningÓ.
This
was a deeply rooted way to see things.
I had grown up with years of kickball, baseball, and Miss America
Pageants, all reinforcing the notion that winning is great and losing sucks.
One day a friend recommended to me that I wish everyone at an audition Òwhite lightÓ. In other words, to hope everyone is safe and protected and able to do their absolute best.
This
immediately sounded like such a good idea, and when I did it, I felt like a
much nicer person. I liked myself
more.
I hadnÕt even realized that I had been wishing my fellow actors ill will at auditions. But essentially, by resenting the other actors, and not wishing for them to do their best, that was exactly what I was doing.
It
doesnÕt matter that the negativity only existed in my thoughts and not in
action. The thought is as real an
experience to me as the action wouldÕve been.
In a spiritual sense, we are all the same person. We are all one. So when you wish ill on others you are also wishing it on yourself.
If
you hope someone fails in the audition, when your turn comes you will feel as
though someone is hoping you do badly.
This way of
thinking has its roots in the Òlaw of karmaÓ, which can be described in the
following ways:
ÒIf you
wish bad things upon others bad things will happen to you.Ó
ÒFor every
cause there is an effect. For
every action a reaction.Ó
ÒIf we sow goodness, we will reap
goodness; if we sow evil, we will reap
evil.Ó
But
if thatÕs a little too ethereal for you, you can look at it like this:
When
you have a destructive thought towards someone else, you will most likely feel
guilty about it, at least in some small way. Guilt is actually anger turned inwards at yourself. Therefore, you will be mad at yourself
for having the thought. When you
are mad at yourself you cannot perform to your best ability. You will, therefore, not allow yourself
to flourish, accidents will happen, and things will not go well. So it is in your best interests to only
think loving thoughts about others.
By
letting other people shine, you are also giving yourself permission to shine.
We can all be winners. After all, isnÕt being happy the best way to be a ÒwinnerÓ. So why base your happiness on whether or not you get this job or that, when you canÕt possibly book every job.
There
are plenty of jobs to go around.
Auditions are more about creating a good relationship with the casting director, so that he will call you back again and again. If a casting director believes in you, even if youÕre not quite right for this role, he will keep bringing you in until he finds the right role for you.
And remember, you donÕt know that this job is whatÕs best for you. Getting this job could actually keep you from getting the wonderful job you were truly meant to get.
Try to see it this way: When you go to an audition, you are not there to get the job. You already have the job. Your job is to do what you love. You are a joyful actor. And by sharing your love of what you do with others, you inspire them by reminding of what ÒloveÓ is.
A
nice way to look at it is that when you go to an audition, you are an angel in
disguise. To the casting people,
you just look like any another actor trying out for the role. But you know better. They see you in pants and a tie, but
you are really wearing white flowing robes. You were sent by the universe to experience love in front of
them. Therefore reminding them
what love is.
The
following is a quote from Marianne WilliamsonÕs, ÒA Return To LoveÓ:
ÒWe
were born to make manifest the glory of God (or ÒloveÓ) that is within us. It's
not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we
subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."